It was a very good story, although it may benefit from a beta-reader (example, a few grammatical errors, although nothing too major. I did enjoy the story, but I don't think the formatting quite suited the structure and purpose . . . it may have been better to use first-person dialogue, perhaps an italicised flashback, or something along those lines (so the transitions feel more natural).

I liked the characterisation, though, which I think has a huge amount of potential, and I'd love to see new works from you, as I think - being that this is an older piece - you could really evolve as a writer.